Unfulfilled

7:08 PM




I feel like I didn’t fulfil my own promises or plans lately.  

The first one was regarding fasting. I’ve skipped a few days of fasting just because I needed some energy in the afternoon to study. If not, I would spend my whole afternoon of sleep...sleep...and zzzzzzzzzzzz, zzzzzzzzzz, zzzzzzzzzzz on and on every day which I would not want to be a habit of mine anymore. Maybe I should change my type of fast? Yeah, I probably should. It’s still considered fasting. Despite of that, I continued on with the prayers according to the days that are mentioned in the ‘NECF’s 40 days fast & prayer' booklet. I’ve managed to lunch fast for about a week though. I think that’s a new accomplishment. 

The second one was regarding waking up early in the morning. I did say that I wanted to wake up as early as 5 in the morning to do something beneficial for my studies. But I can’t seem to do so. I did manage to wake up at 5.20 am but that was only once. But other than that, I managed to wake up earlier than usual though but not at 5am. That is a bit good but still kind of bad. I really need to discipline myself. I find that waking up early in the morning is somehow refreshing and I get to wake up before the sun rises. Beat the sun! Haha~~ Other than that, I have the time to go online and read some daily Bible reflections while enjoying my breakfast slowly. I've been doing that everyday for the past week and I want it to be a habit of mine. Hearing God's word every morning is also refreshing to me. Refreshes the soul. It's a way of thanking God that I am still able to breathe and look at His creation.

The third one was regarding my finances. I over exceeded my budget for this month. This is the first time for this year. Luckily I would be away from hostel life for about 2 weeks in early September. There would be not much to spend as I will be home with my family and enjoying my mom’s cooking – or my own cooking. LOL. I’ve not been home for 6 weekends straight because I had to attend Alpha Gaya – an activity for my college’s Christian fellowship. I think that is one of the main reasons why I over exceeded my budget. Besides, food nowadays is expensive.

Other than these three, I have 5 more books to complete. I should read before I go to sleep like I did last semester.

Disciplining oneself is sometimes hard when you are not used to doing the certain things that you need disciplining. 

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